5 books that will teach you something new about humans

Whether you are reading for pleasure or seeking to learn something new, this post might give you an idea of what to read next. Every book on my list will tell a story of human relations and how to become a better leader.

I wanted to create a list of books I would recommend to others for a very long time. I posted occasionally on social media some titles I read or want to read, but really never had time to organize all my resources. From now on I will try to dedicate a page on my website where visitors can see those books I strongly recommend to read. This blog post is the first of many, I hope.

#1: What happened to you?: Conversations on trauma, resilience, and healing

#2: Group Dynamics

#3: Trust: A Very Short Introduction

#4: Aventures et mésaventures d'une aide-soignante à domicile: Anecdotes de vie

#5: Star Wars: Knight Errant

---

#1: What happened to you?: Conversations on trauma, resilience, and healing

by Oprah Winfrey and Bruce D. Perry

This is not an easy read but a very important one. As an organizational designer I am learning how to facilitate trauma-informed interventions for my clients, teams and organizations.

As a mother I am discovering how trauma impacts brain of a child and how early childhood relations with caregivers impact all other relations of a child with the world.

As a friend I now know that instead of asking “What is wrong with you?” I’d better say: “What happened to you?” Asking a different question helps to shift perspectives from judgement to empathy, it helps to create space for discovery, learning, appreciation and ultimately lead to a more healthy relationships at work and home.

I believe every thoughtful and caring leader must read this book if he/she/them want to cultivate trust-based, trauma-informed, and psychologically safe working environment.

#2: Group Dynamics

by Donelson R.Forsyth

This book will give you a very detailed explanation of every aspect of human-to-human interactions in a group. I am already having so many “Aha!” moments as a practitioner and as a person who often teams up with others.

It is a very thick book and will take me more weeks to complete it, but I am enjoying so much. The book is a mini-encyclopedia that gives you in-depth insights on why do people fight, why do they collaborate, who influences whom, how leaders are chosen in groups, and how do they fail.

#3: Trust: A Very Short Introduction

by Katherine Hawley

I am reading every resource that I can find on trust and psychological safety. This little book can you a fantastic primer to introduce such topics as trust and district; why trustworthiness matter; honest and dishonesty; knowledge and expertise. While the book is very comprehensive and yet concise, it does not offer any advise on strategies. After all is it a very short introduction. Still, I would recommend reviewing this books to reflect on why we trust some people and not others, and why being trustworthy is so important for survival of our species

#4: Aventures et mésaventures d'une aide-soignante à domicile: Anecdotes de vie

by Florent Catanzaro

Who said that learning can’t be fun? As French is not my mother tongue I strive to maintain it and enjoy the process at the same time.

This little book was written before pandemic but how helpful it is now to fully grasp complexities of day-to-day work of those who take care of sick and elderly.

With humour, humanity and lots of tact, the book describes relationships between the caregiver and her clients, and relatives of her clients; and between caregivers themselves.

Leadership takes many forms. Nursing and caregiving one of those leadership roles we often take for granted.

#5: Star Wars: Knight Errant

by John Jackson Miller

Of course there are times when you want to read for pure pleasure, to escape to a different universe; the Star Wars books are the perfect solution for such times!

Apparently, there are some 45 books chronologically describing history and traditions of many worlds in the Star Wars universe.

For me it all started from the need to understand jokes and cultural references I’ve seen in some TV shows. But now, as I am reading the 15th book of the Star Wars timeline, I can’t help but recommend it to anyone who listens.

Sometimes, you do need to get closer to the dark side to appreciate the power of the light.

Do you trust yourself?

Trust-building is the most underrated and misunderstood leadership ability. Leaders can boost performance of their teams by understanding exactly why we do (or don’t) trust the people we work with.

Many leaders put an awful lot of effort into meeting the diverse needs of their stakeholders (internal and external) and their employees. But they’re not paying enough attention to one crucial maintenance function that provides with the most return on investment: Trust.

Trust is defined as our willingness to be vulnerable in relationships with others and this vulnerability is rooted in our belief that our colleagues, teammates, supervisors have good intentions and will behave well toward us. We let them have power over us believing these people will not hurt us. However, trust is a two-way street. We extend trust to others, we are willing to be vulnerable but our trust can be betrayed. It is not a rare phenomenon.

So, what do we do to ensure that we are operating in a high-trust environment? I always suggest to begin with self-trust and becoming aware our own relations with trust:

- Do we trust ourselves to act on our own decisions?

- How often do we betray ourselves and act in detriment to our own interests?

- Are we behaving in a way that instills trust or destroys it?

These are first key questions every leader has to ask as she/he/they engage in a trust-building process. We can never overestimate the relationship between self-trust and trusting others. As Maya Angelou said, “I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.”

Trust-building is a vulnerable and courageous process. You can gain more self-awareness through individual selections combined with a conversation with a person you can open up to. I would encourage you to walk through this process from a place of curiosity, learning and, ultimately, trust-building.

Making the Case for Investing in Trust

Making the case for investing in trust is, for some reason, never easy. Every leader I have spoken to about the need to maintain a high level of trust in organizations has agreed with me. There is no question about the importance of trust in the decision-making process, in employee satisfaction and retention, in better organizational performance and impact. And yet whenever it comes to the actual work of doing something to restore or reinforce trust in organizations, leaders tend to slam on the brakes. The procrastination it occasions would seem to come from an uncertainty regarding what trust is and how it is engendered. Trust is intangible in nature; its very elusiveness creates mental barriers in the heads of many decision-makers, despite their agreement on its importance and their commitment to continuous improvement. 

So just how do you make a case for finding both the time and the resources for improving the level of trust in your organization? The recipe might change when applied to the specific circumstances of your organization, but the first step is that of demystifying trust. 

One of the most persistent myths I have come across in my work with organizations is that we all share the same understanding of what trust is and how to achieve it. But the more you talk about trust and share your perceptions of it, and discuss how it influences your day-to-day decisions and relationships, you may discover that people in organizations define trust in very different terms. Some define trust as leadership competence (it is up to leaders to inspire trustworthiness and lead by example). Some people compare trust to a currency, something very transactional (if you trust me, I will trust you). Others see it as a rigid, fragile, indispensable and, yet very precious condition for any relationship (you either have trust or not; once you lose it, you never gain it back; it’s like a broken vase that can be put back together but will never be quite the same). 

These differences in perceptions regarding trust are understandable, but reflect only one aspect of what it is. Trust is many things, a multi-dimensional notion. There is no single, universally agreed upon definition of trust that we can apply to organizations and take as a baseline to start with. That is why one of my key recommendations to those who want to work on strengthening trust in their teams or organizations is to create a shared language around trust. 

What is a shared language? It is common knowledge co-created and shared by all members of your organization of how you define trust in your own terms. Creating a shared language requires an internal dialogue, an honest conversation about your beliefs, mindsets, and assumptions that determine how people define trust and what makes them trust in one situation and not in another. It is by challenging each other’s assumptions that people in organizations will come closer to forging a common meaning they attribute to trust, an association of values with high trust, a set of behaviours that create trust, and strategies to achieving and maintaining a high-level trust environment.